I’ve stated time and time again that one of my measured successes in life is to encourage, or even inspire someone. Two weeks ago, I managed to do so in the form of an interview, a recollection of my self-love journey and the exploration of my relationship with my body.
Some had texted me after that to thank me for sharing it – these were some of the words that they needed to hear, and I was happy to provide it.
By the way, you can read the story here.
Anyway, that aside, I thought I’d share a couple of other gems that I learned along the way of my never-ending journey … well, not never-ending, I’m bound to die soon. So yes, in case you need to hear it:
Be loyal to your salary, not your company
Those words were actually said to me by a colleague who, in his 25+ years of experience has seen a lot of shit.
That would mean that he had gone through so many hassles and adventures at work to come to a point where he had actually come to the revelation, or even a decision to believe that, no company is ever worth it.
I decided that I would take that as one of my many holy grails this year, because no matter how you see it, it is actually true.
If you’re like me, believing that everything has a solution and can be fixed and can be bettered, then you may (sometimes) be off to a rocky start. Not everything wants to be fixed, and that’s not limited to only people (which we’ll talk about later on), but also companies that are so stuck in their olden ways, i.e. management styles, leadership skills, work ethics, that it seems nearly impossible to rectify it.
You know what? Don’t bother. Leave it.
Clock in, do your shit, clock out. Maybe have some drinks with colleagues who share the same sentiments. Other than that, don’t get involved unless you’re ready to be immensely frustrated, burnt out or involved in dirty politics that may never get you anywhere without being hated by anyone.
So yes, if you have to, stick to the money. We all glorify a fulfilling career that makes you 100% happy but hey, let’s be pragmatic. If you have weighed all the options and your guts have told you that it ain’t good, then leave it.
There is no shame in starting over
One of the things I’ve noticed with my generation is the fear of losing something that has never been good to them in the first place. Jobs, boyfriends, houses, situations … they all dive into the same problematic, heart-wrenching circumstances over and over again to the point where I keep asking, “What is the point of all this? What are you hoping to get?”
Oh, I’m X age, and I haven’t even achieved X title at work.
Oh, I’m X age, and I’m not even attached to anyone.
Oh, I’m X and I can’t leave her because it’s been so long.
I’m not undermining your situation whatsoever. Up to a really high point, I commiserated with you and maybe, up to a certain point as well, enabled it. I’m sorry that I did. I should have told you the cold, hard truth: it’s not worth it.
Is it worth beating yourself up for that job that could just chuck you out in 2 weeks if they could? Is it worth losing sleep over something you can’t control? Is it worth being in pain half of the time and not being able to enjoy life because something you want isn’t going your way?
I think it’s even sadder that one chooses to be in that situation, without finding solutions. Part of the solution is starting over. And that’s what many people are afraid of. But it’s something we have to do sometimes, and it’s something we should ABSOLUTELY not feel shit about. You owe it to yourself.
Not everybody wants to be fixed
You know that one friend who’s just got a streak of bad luck, no matter what they, or no matter what you do to help them? Chances are, there are things that could have possibly helped to alleviate the situation; it’s just that they are not doing it.
Look, I’m not bashing the people who are depressed – I was there once too. But there is a difference between actually seeking help and just wallowing in self-pity. Doing nothing isn’t going to solve the problem. If you’re truly depressed, please go seek help immediately. I will come with you, even. There’s no shame in admitting that you need help. You know what’s shameful though? It’s when you REFUSE to seek help, and TURN AWAY options that can clearly help you.
I’ve come across this situation many times and I’ve come to a point where I just hated everyone who depended on me for their emotional stability because let’s admit it, sometimes being someone’s emotional caretaker is an even heavier duty than the person who’s going through tough times. So yes, someone people want to remain that way. And once you’ve done all you can to help, you shouldn’t feel bad for just washing your hands clean. You need to take care of yourself, too.
Life is too short to think about what other people think of you
Over and over, we get reminded of this. But over and over, we forget this. There is no point in starving yourself, or ‘saving’ yourself when nothing is going to come out from it except for questions regarding ‘what will she/he/they/my church members/my colleagues say?’. Fast forward 50 years from now, if we’re both still alive, we’ll sit about the good times we had when we were truly happy and enjoying life and risking shit instead of like “OMG I totally missed those times I went on that juice detox diet. I suffered but yeah, loved it. Miss it.”
Just think about that. What will you miss the most doing in your youthful days? Do that instead.
Money is never enough
As written by a post earlier this week, money will never be enough – no matter how much you’re earning. Yes, we do wish that we could be earning millions by the second, but truth be told, even then you will feel that it’s not enough. Somehow, your life will adjust to your spending power and you will find yourself in the same situation – just maybe you’d have designer bags hanging on your arm, and Louboutin shoes or something.
Take a chill pill. Save for rainy days or emergency funds, but don’t take it too seriously. It’s miserable when you can’t spend the money you worked hard for, but nobody is stopping you from doing it. Just don’t spend it all. And, be wise about your decisions is all!
If it makes you happy, wear it
Again, nobody gives two shits if you want to wear pattern on pattern, or if you’ve got Coca Cola bottles as earrings. Nobody. Cares. Even if they do, their opinions don’t matter, right? We covered that just a few seconds ago.
Choose and wear things that make you genuinely happy, not because it’s in trend, or because everybody else is wearing it, or because … whatever. Why do people conform to others anyway? If it isn’t sponsored, or bought for you (because the only way to really thank someone who buys you wearable things is to wear them, and show them), then you’re better off wearing things that are comfortable for you.
This does not only apply to fashion, but in every aspect of your life.
If it makes you happy, then do/wear/watch/eat it.
Anyway, this is all I have for now — maybe I’ll continue with some others when I remember them. Toodles!