To The Boys I’ve Loved Before (The Non-Pretty Girl Edition)

Written and submitted by Moira Grey.




 

You taught me various things that made me who I am today. Well, as much as I would like to give you the Hannibal Lecter treatment, another part of me thanks you. Here are the things I’ve learned and lived with along the way with each one of you.

1. I’m never the girl you brought out on broad daylight, I was the one you sneaked in to your house in the middle of the night.

2. You boosted your ego and testosterone through smashing me to the wall and slapping me until I got crimson red (for my complexion haha). It was pleasure through my pain for you,

3. I’m the girl who you’d rather get drunk with and forget until you hit the town for another night of rendezvous.

4. My likes and dislikes are never a concern.

5. My I love you’s are an advantage for you to appear and disappear whenever you pleased, as I’m the shelter for your needy soul whenever you get rejected by your dream girl.

6. I’m the secret of the century, where I lurk in your shadows and never am worthy of walking beside you.

7. You’re always too broke to spend on me but she gets a dress or gets brought out to fancy dates almost every weekend.

8. I am your very own psychologist that you come to, feeding me with your somehow rather rehearsed lines of ‘I’m never good enough’, ‘Girls wouldn’t want a guy like me’, ‘I’m too ugly for anyone’, ‘I’m so broken that even I cant handle myself’. I should call it out as bullshit. Instead , I go on reassuring you while you smirk at me, knowing me all too well.

9. I’m the friend who has a crush on you, one who is desperate for you whenever she questions you or when any of your friends do.

10. I’m seen worthy of getting whatever that she has rejected, such as flowers to jewellery.

11. I’m that hoe she hates yet you’re the man who lurks into my sheets, by way of compensating for what she lacks. 

12. I was never the one you dutifully texted ‘good morning’ nor surprise me with my matcha bubble tea. Even if you do, I know you want something from me.

13. ‘I cant be your first, but I can be your regular lover. You’re too good for me’.  I knew I’ll never see you again, but this is the last time I’m going to settle for less.

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