Written and submitted by Firdaus Rahim.
It’s 2019 and I’ve been listening to the same story over and over again for years now:
“I’m still healing”
“My ex really broke me”
“I don’t know how to love anymore”
“Love is not for me and will never be for me”
I get it and I truly understand that you went through something so heartbreaking it left you empty inside and you’re probably traumatized from the experience. This happens mostly because when we truly love someone, we start to invest a huge chunk of ourselves in that person and then, they leave us… They cheat on us and the whole relationship ends in a blink of an eye.
So we feel like a part of ourselves is forever lost and we can never reclaim that part that we’ve invested.
If you’re still reading this then you’re probably one of these people then. The ones who are still hurt from their past relationships and are not able to function properly in a new one. Right now, what you’re doing is holding on that baggage from the past, straight to the present and using it to destroy any future relationships you could possibly be in.
I know that this might sound so hard and maybe even impossible for you to do but instead of carrying that baggage everywhere you go, why don’t you unload it? Start this year with a clean slate and stop obsessing over the fact that you’ve been hurt by someone, that you’ve been broken by someone, etc.
You may have gotten triggered by that and honestly, that’s okay. You might have said something like:
“You don’t know what I’ve been through so it’s so easy enough for you to tell me that”
“ You don’t know shit so why should I fucking listen to you”
“Oh please, you have no idea how traumatizing it was for me or what I’ve done for my ex”
Bottom line is that I don’t really give a fuck and so does the rest of the world. Does anyone in this world want to date or be in love with someone who carries their baggage into their new relationship where they probably have to deal with your issues?
I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks as well. My first ex when I was 15 years old up to 17 committed suicide. My second ex used me for 2 years for my money and then cheated on me… I could go on actually because I have about a total of 5 exes but here’s the thing, I moved on incredibly quick not because I didn’t truly love any of them but I just chose to move on to the next because I know love is out there for me and it’s out there for you as well.
You may want time to heal yourself and that’s fine. Take as much time as you need because you may want to reclaim that part of yourself that you’ve lost or you may need to fix that broken heart of yours.
Just understand that every relationship will be different from the previous one so stop looking back at your past and start looking forward to your future. If you meet someone that fills your heart with butterflies and for the first time ever, you feel happy once again, then go after them. Don’t let them get hit by that baggage you’re carrying but instead, empty that shit, put new stuff in it and probably go travel with it and with your lover.
This is what I’ve always believed, that each and every single one of us is stronger than we can ever give ourselves credit for. We’re in control of our emotions and how things play out in our lives.