Submitted and written by Adam Majid.
I am one of those weird guys who has been called “gay,” “friendzone king,” and just plain “weird” on MULTIPLE occasions because I have more female friends than male friends. To be honest with you: – I don’t know why that is. At. All. I am in a steady long-term relationship of SIX YEARS with a woman I love and am happy with. My girlfriend knows and accepts this facet of my life.
Please note the difference between girlfriend and girl friend.
I know that after this article gets posted, I’m probably going to officially lose my status as “Dude” for violating some aspect of the “Bro Code” I was honestly not aware of. I’ll say this much: I know where I stand with my “girl friends” today, know where I stood with them 10 years ago, and know where I’ll stand with them in 20 years. The funny thing is that I actually prefer the female friends for almost anything and everything, for five reasons I’m going to outline: –
1. Girl Friends Forgive
I’ve seen the ladies when they fight with another lady. It’s weeks, if not MONTHS of snippy comments, pretending to like each other, social politeness, tear shedding, gossip-girlin’ and backstabbing. Watching the fight (hide your popcorn guys) is getting a Masters Degree in psychological warfare with an Undergraduate Degree in enhanced emotional torture techniques.
By contrast guys don’t “fight.” We simply fuckin’ brawl. Simple. We will lay in to each with direct verbal attacks that will hurt as much as punch to the face and then throw a few REAL punches, get a black eye, bloody nose, and split lip. Then we’ll sit down, have a beer (or whiskey or vodka), and share an ice pack and we’ll be ok again. In all likelihood, if we fought a stranger, we’ll be making a new friend.
But when it comes to the guy fucking things up with the girl friend, his ultimate weapon is an honest admittance of the mistake. That we fucked up. That we will do our best to make sure it does not happen again. We’ll buy the flowers and/or chocolates and/or ice cream and/or cigarettes and/or alcohol to help make things better too. I’ve settled fights/disagreements with a girl friend in 5 minutes and a phone call, and one/some/all of the aforementioned peace offerings.
Please note forgiveness is not forgetting. Expect to be reminded of your stupidity for comedic entertainment, shock and awe value, and when you make the same fuck up in future.
2. Girl Friends Have Your Back
I find out months if not YEARS after the fact that my girl friends have stepped in and settled shit for me, without me ever knowing about it. Somebody was trash talking me behind my back, and they stepped in and had words with them on my behalf. Some girl treated me like trash on a date and next thing I know I’m getting apologetic phone calls. I’m a dense moron who didn’t connect the dots, but they have my back no matter what. They have stood their ground when the opposing party IS right and defended me. In private, I get the honest opinion about why I’m a moron, but when I need them, they are a phone call’s distance away. When its urgent, they got the ice cream and wine for themselves and vodka for me. When its life or death, they rock up ready to kick ass and take names. That’s what matters.
3. Girl Friends Keep Secrets
I’ve always heard that girls chat and gossip and share secrets about anyone and everything all the damn time. This depends on you and your level of friendship with your girl friends. Mine, I can trust to the highest of highest levels. I say I got a secret to share, they immediately start making a blood oath of secrecy. How much do I trust them? Let’s just say that they knew I was getting divorced before my parents, former in-laws, and “bros.” They never revealed the fact that they knew, even after the whole sordid mess was public.
4. Girl Friends Listen
Guys as a rule find it hard to talk about somethings. Messed up relationships, past traumas, and emotions and feelings are some topics that come to mind. When I need someone to listen, I mean REALLY listen. I don’t call the “bros.” The “bros” tend to listen, then try to start advising. The Girl friends will listen and have listened to me rant and rave about whatever. When their protective/maternal streak emerges and they want to either hold you while you cry or reach in to the weapon locker to commit murder, you know your girl friend is one of your best friends.
Girl friends don’t quite get everything that you’re going through, or your frustrations with some things. They won’t be able to give you any advice because they will admit they just don’t fully GET the issue. But they cared enough to listen, without judgment, held you while you cried, shared that six pack of beer and quietly, silently made that blood oath of secrecy.
5. Girl Friend Will Give You a “Nick” that Sticks
You are going to get a nickname. Accept it. Move on. That nickname is something you won’t hear from the girl friend unless shit’s gotten seriously terri-bad and you need emotional support (#2), or reminding of something that they cannot open discuss (#3), or they are trying to persuade you of something that they really feel strongly about. The nickname means you are one of their besties and you will be protected as such.
So what else can I say about them? Girl Friends. Can’t live without my Besties. They have celebrated the successes of my life. They have consoled me in the sorrows and given me the swift kick in the ass when needed. With girl friends like these, who needs “Bros?”
Love ya girls. XOXO