A post by Anonymous.
Setting: A prison interrogation room in Sungai Buloh.
Why did I do it? (laughs) Why? That’s what you want to know? Well I suppose that’s all you want to know before you can consider the case closed. So that you can run along to the media and jerk yourself off in their eager mouths. I’m not going to give you that satisfaction. I’m not going to take the blame for freeing those boys from their pathetic lives. I’ve seen those same self-loathing faces in my country. Jumping over fences and swimming across rivers. All for what? To roam the back alleys offering blowjobs for a few euros? They didn’t know I was doing them a favour. They like it when they get invited in. They think they’ll score some extra money. But they didn’t know I was giving them more than that. I was giving them freedom.
Investigator: (Clears his throat) According to your files, Petrolium hired you as the lead for their Malaysian business operations in 2013. Have you been doing these (pauses) despicable acts since then?
What? You think I’m some sort of rabid maniac running around without self-control killing boys? Believe it or not, I’m actually good at what I do. They knew my 20-year experience on the job is valuable and that’s why they brought me here. Did I have second thoughts about moving across the world for a job? Maybe. But the prospect was far too tempting. I knew there were more helpless souls out there that needed me.
He stops talking. Looks around the room.
Could I have some water please?
Investigator beckons to an officer at the corner of the room. He walks out and in a few seconds, returns with a plastic cup of water, placing it on the table.
Yannick downs the water in one go.
Now, where was I? Well the first year I was focused on my job. Boring stuff but I liked it. Like I said I’m good at what I do. Did. Occasionally picked up guys at local bars and through the apps but that was it. I was merely an observer at that point. But my oh my. Did I like what I saw. So many young boys just going through the motions, waiting for a change in their lives. A liberator. Yes that’s what they needed. But I was just minding my business, threw myself into work.
He leans back in his chair and averts his gaze from the investigator to the ceiling.
But everything changed when I met Sanjay. He was the missing piece I needed here. He completed me. And woke me up to see my purpose once again.
He looks back at the investigator.
Where are you keeping him anyway? (Sniggers) In another grim questioning room like this asking the same questions I assume. He’ll give you more answers than I will I’m sure. That’s just the way he is. Easily excitable. But that’s what I love about him.
He gazes back at the slowly spinning ceiling fan.
At first, it was difficult to get him to agree to a threesome. He was apprehensive, unwilling to allow another person into our sex life. I knew he was resisting only because he was hung up on society’s idea of a relationship. Bah. The society here doesn’t even approve our monogamous relationship in the first place. But guess what? He got hooked. As days went by he wanted it more than I did. He would set up the dates for us. All he had to do was go on one of those apps and use my pictures. Those boys couldn’t resist a good-looking white man even if they tried (laughs).
He makes eye contact with the investigator.
Most importantly these boys, they were stuck. In a cycle of rejection and low self-esteem. Well I had a type. I liked them helpless. And with dark features. The browner the better. They were the ones who needed the most help. My help. And at that moment I was ready.
He looks at his clasped fingers on the table.
My Sanjay, he was different. He didn’t like my type of guys. They were the ones he accused of rejecting him all the while. Whether in clubs or on apps, they didn’t like the fact that he looked just like them. And he didn’t like that they hated the way he looked. I liked him just fine. He was handsome and sweet. All the more of him for me.
He stares at the investigator.
I made sure we picked the guys that I liked. They were easier to lure to our rendezvouses. A white man asking them for sex. With his boyfriend nonetheless. The epitome of decadent sexual experience for a lifetime.
He pulls the metal chair closer to the table.
One day I knew it was time. That boy who came was so scared and excited at the same time. They always get impressed walking into my apartment. Sanjay did have a knack for ID. But most of them are awed by the spaciousness of our Stroika unit. Did you go to have a look? One of the best perks of the job. This boy took his time exploring our home, running his fingers across photo frames of Sanjay and I before coming to bed. I hadn’t told Sanjay what I intended to do but in my heart I knew he would like it. I saw the slight grimace on the boy’s face when Sanjay opened the door for him. The wire was ready on the bedside table.
He pauses, leans back in the chair and cradles the back of his neck with his fingers still clasped to gaze at the ceiling.
It ended as quickly as it started. Sanjay was horrified at first, when the boy began flailing around gasping for air. But seeing me naked, fucking his helpless body hard, with all my weight on him and the wire around his neck; that turned him on. He quickly grabbed they boy’s hands and the kiss we shared at that moment was the best I’ve ever had in my life. And in his life too I’m sure.
He turns his attention once again to the investigator, who hasn’t turned away once.
Once it was done, then came the messy part. How do we get rid of a dead Indian boy from our atas apartment? I knew we needed the help of the people on the ground. Sanjay suggested the Nepali guards, which of course was a brilliant idea. Yes, they’re honest people but come on, everybody has a price. Using them also solved the CCTV problem, the inexplicable instances of men coming into the building but not leaving.
Investigator: (With an agitated voice) How many boys didn’t leave your apartment.. alive?
(Laughs) Honestly, after a certain point, I stopped keeping count. I think Sanjay might have, you should ask him. I’m relishing the fact that I’ve set the boys free, free from all your judgements and prejudice.
Do I consider myself a cold-blooded murderer like what the media says? Of course not. I consider myself to be a.. saviour.