Bros Shouldn’t Come Before Her

It amazes me how many relationships are actually ruined by a man’s male other half… their bros.

Not the blood-related ones, but the ones who have so-called been there since the dark ages, the ones that came before, well hoes, if you like.

Friendship is something not unlike a relationship, if you ask me. You care for that person, you go the extra mile for that person. Some people even go as far as sharing a bed with that person, but that’s another story. I’m not a storyteller…

You know how before you fell in love and finally got together with that special girl that makes your heart flutter, your bros were always there behind you? Supporting you, pushing you to man up and ask her out.

And then when you got together your bros sang songs of victory atop a cliff overlooking the city for you, because one of their very own has found true love and happiness – and your bros are the happiest people in your life when you find happiness. The best part? Nothing’s changed!

You guys are still hanging out, except that first few months when you’re still not immune to your newly found booty call privileges with that special someone, maybe those few months you see lesser of your bros. But after all of that has subsided and you’ve got that kick back in you, nothing beats spending week nights, nay, weekends with the bros!

You know what they say, bros before hoes right?

And that is where every relationship goes to hell.

Deep in a relationship myself is when I realised that many other women just like myself actually struggle with partners who are attached at the hips with their bros. The thing is that this behaviour puts a strain on relationships and men just don’t seem to get it.




You want to know the difference between sis-romance and bromance? Women know where the boundaries fucking are.

Of course we want to see our friends, of course we want to still have those sleepovers out of the blue and of course we still want to be on the phone talking nonsense all night long like we used to before we got into relationships.

But we get it.

When someone’s in a relationship, that comes first and it’s okay – that’s how it’s supposed to be. God, I know you love your bros – but they’re not the ones you picture kissing on New Year’s right?

Gentlemen, when your girl complains that you don’t spend enough time with her or you’re spending too much time with your bros (and I bet you all the money in the world she does this at some point) it’s not because she’s a jealous bitch who’s slowly morphing into a parasitical creature latching onto you like as if you’re a life-source. It’s because you, again, don’t fucking get it.

Spending time with someone isn’t about you splitting the week to see your bros and your girl – it’s a no brainer she should get more of you, that’s why you’re in a relationship with her, right? If that’s not computing well in your brain then honey, I suggest you do us all a favour and stop pathetically call yourself a boyfriend/fiance/husband.

And here’s your common rebuttal, men.

“I do spend time with her, I come home to her every night???”

We spend close to 12 hours of every single day being at work and commuting back and forth. By the time you get home, if you are lucky, you get to have a good 4 hours before it’s time to hit the sack because right after dawn it’s back to the daily grind. And the problem is when you spend more of those 4 hours every day of the week being out, hanging with your bros. Even if you come home every night, how many hours are you really spending with her?

It’s okay to hang out with your bros, it’s okay to see them as how you used to. But is it really necessary to see them every week? I know, it sounds outrageous, right? To say that you can’t even spare one day out of seven dedicated to your bros?

Think about it, break it down – cancel off those 4 hours on weekdays where we actually get to live (being off work and commute), take weekends into the calculation. Most of us rise by mid-day to catch back those badly needed zzz, Saturdays are the only days we really have our rest because Sunday is already prep time for the following week.

Not so much sand in the hourglass now, huh?

And the thing is, many of these women agree, the problem isn’t even you wanting to be with your bros – it’s you not having the common sense to put us first. It’s not cool. It’s hurtful. It’s going to affect the relationship, no lie.

To all the bros out there, this one’s for you.

You have the power.

You are loved more than us – that is the raw, cold truth and women have long accepted that cruel fact.

Our man loves you more than they love us, it’s as simple as that.

The thing is, it’s not your fault that they do.

But it’s your fault that you don’t think it’s selfish for you to want to hog them all week long and then some. Your bro will never say no to you – but he’s fucking clueless. He’s going to lose his girl if he doesn’t realise that this tiny little problem can be a deal breaker.

Help that fucker out – stop hogging his time. Women can’t take your place, don’t worry.

But don’t be another reason why your bro can’t find love that sticks.

And to all the men in relationships out there….

The only man, baby, I adore
I gave you everything, what’s mine is yours
I want you to live your life of course
But I hope you get what you dyin’ for
Be careful with me, do you know what you doin’?
Whose feelings that you hurtin’ and bruisin’?
You gon’ gain the whole world
But is it worth the girl that you’re losin’?
Be careful with me

Hey, since you’re here, check out other stories from relating to this topic:

The 7 Stages Of A Relationship

Let Me Break Down The Stages Of A Relationship For You

What Being A Habitual Side-Piece Taught Me About Relationships

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About Anything Lah!

This blog began with a dream to bring people closer together – to write about their thoughts, opinions and experiences ranging from ghost stories to relationships and to life lessons! If you have a story to share, write to us at