I drive every day. Just like anybody else, as you can imagine, I feel the frustration that comes with driving to and fro work every day. Because of the fact that I spend most of my hours on the road, I eventually came to take note of how drivers behave on a day-to-day basis. Mind you, this isn’t like a general guide to KL Driving 101, but merely my observations based on what I have encountered, am encountering and possibly will continue to encounter. (Should things change, I will edit this article and update it).
I’m going to break this simple ‘data’ into days, and how people drive according to those days. Nothing too extravagant. This isn’t a thesis or anything. Come to think of it, it would be a great subject for a thesis. All y’all college students preparing for a thesis, feel free to contact me for ‘data’.
Oh my god, here comes the frustration. How do I even begin? This is literally the start of the madness for the rest of the week. I don’t know why, but maybe because it’s the start of the week, so everyone is like… very enthusiastic about going back to work? Idk.
Most of the Monday drivers will leave their house very early, and thus… dramatic jam weiii, can you imagine being stuck in the traffic for 2 hours? Just to travel about 40 km?
And if got rain some more, gone case lah. So to all the drivers who are reading this, please calm your tits and just leave your house like you would on any other days.
Tuesday – Thursday.
You know why I grouped these 3 days together? Because I think in a week, these days have the most stable traffic conditions to drive in. Everyone starts to feel lazy, so the traffic will not be congested with the Monday fuckers. I mean drivers.
Everyone drives like normal, like they have the rest of the week to settle their stuff. It’s good. And normally these type of drivers are experienced ones, and when I say that, it means they are the more cool, chilled and patient drivers.
They are also the ones who won’t honk if you still haven’t moved after the light went green for 0.5 seconds (I’m one of those people, LOL).
Uh oh. Yes. It’s TGIF, and FIF (fuck, it’s Friday).
Today, you will see all the weekday drivers turn into Monday fuckers again. The only difference is that it’s after work, then semua menggelabah tetek nak balik awal. The ones who always leave their office around 7-8pm will start leaving their office around 5-6pm. JIZOS, it took me 15-30 minutes just from the parking lot to the first traffic light, and agaaaaiiiinnnnn, hujan some more, gone case lagi. Just cancel anything that you have got planned before 9pm.
Saturday and Sunday.
OH YAY, it’s the weekend! Now you think the traffic won’t be as bad as the weekdays.
Yes and no.
Yes a bit, only if you leave your place before noon. But come on right, it’s the weekend. Everyone will sleep in till noon, then bam, everyone will start driving into the city around lunch time. All ya’ll fuckers who don’t drive to work will drive your car, action lagi, and drive with the attitude like kau sorang je ada kereta. And oh, bonus points if you drive a bigger car, this will grant you a pass to be an asshole to those who drive economy cars (cheap car lah diorang cakap). Even if you’re making the mistake, you still dare to glare at people till your eye balls are almost popping out of your skull.
Okay lah, I give you bonus.
I don’t know why Malaysian drivers’ cognitive functions suddenly shut down when it’s raining – it is like the rain just washed away all the knowledge they have about driving, and suddenly, they revert to driving school days.
It’s only drizzing and you’re going half of the speed you normally would on normal days. *facepalm*.
“Oh its raining, so let me just turn on my rear fog lamp”. Yeah, maybe that would help if it was raining heavily, but it is only drizzling — you are blinding me here fucker! *SIGH* I don’t know how these people got their license.
If you fall into any of these categories, don’t worry. I’m one of them too (but I am definitely not the rainy day driver). So please don’t get butthurt and, try to be a more responsible driver. Be more patient.
And one last thing, please use your indicator when changing lanes lah fuckers.
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