Referring to the prompt on Anything Lah’s Instagram:
A post by Moldova Cake.
Welcome to a new segment where I attempt to make the editor’s hair fall out due to stress, via my shallow yet infuriating responses to her heartfelt attempts at getting people to contribute on serious issues.
Disclaimer: comments are made in jest, but any complaints can be made to the editor at email@example.com with the subject “I am a jellied doughnut because…”
The LGBT backlash Malaysia is facing now
Dear Editor, that’s a very insensitive pun you’ve made. It’s not the type of cane-do attitude we have here.
Dear LGBT(+Q) community, we love you guys and we are very unhappy about the way the country is violating human rights laws with their discrimination. We want you to know that there are many of us who believe that you love who you love – and we want to help ensure we all enjoy the rights to do so. Yes, even you deviant lefthanders.
The legal/illegal age of marriage in Malaysia/Child marriage issues
MARRIAGE IS A SHAM. DOWN WITH MARRIAGE DOWN WITH WEDDINGS. #stanloona
Your current workplace, and what you think should change
Look, we all have a billion things we’d like to change at the workplace. Some trivial, some critical and some just plain queer.
I don’t pretend to know your story, or your struggles – but before you rant away – ask yourself, are YOU the problem?
100 days after – has Malaysia been #baru to you?
No. #bringbackabangjib #10isbiggerthan6
The Malaysian celebrity/influencer lifestyle
I don’t know why you call it a life, nor does it have style.
On a serious note, it’s fine to channel your aspirations of a (subjectively) better life by living through them. However, I would urge you to remember that these images & persona are carefully curated to only show you the best bits. Be inspired, don’t be misled.
The mental health scene in Malaysia
Just last week, an acquaintance of mine commented on my depression:
“Why don’t you just stop feeling sad?”
“All it takes it to change your mind and make a stand that you don’t want to be depressed anymore. It’s easy!”
“You’re depressed because you want to be depressed. Make a change in your lifestyle, meet more new people and pick up a hobby. It’s not hard!”
You tell me.
The obsession with #thinspiraton, or body image
I am a fan of #perspiration but people around me don’t seem to agree, especially when I’ve had a few too many sambal petai.
Real talk: where does the line of being unhealthily heavy (I am certified obese), and positive body images get drawn? I am all for #selflove and #positivebodyimage, but I am also all for #heartattacksarenotfunny and #sweatingeverywhereisthepits.
Can we compromise instead of having to constantly chase between extremes?
What you hope for this National Day
That the Merdeka promo/set/burger from McD/KFC/A&W/PizzaHut doesn’t suck.
GIVE ME MY MULTICOLORED FOOD DYED IN MALAYSIAN FLAG COLOURS.
What you wish was different in this country
The value of the currency. Higher. Not lower.
What you achieved Merdeka from
Merdeka from having my GLORIOUS writing stay hidden from the world because ANYTHINGLAH became a thing and the editor begrudgingly publishes my drivel.
WRITE AND SUBMIT PEOPLE.
Cover image courtesy of Pexels.