The 7 Stages of a Relationship

We men, we hunt! We woo! We impress! We finally captured her heart and voila! A relationship is formed… and then what? Live happily ever after? Really?? Jeng jeng jeng…

The road to every successful relationship consists of choices made by both parties, regardless of the situation. Sometimes, the relationship dies. Sometimes, it’s a successful one. Now, let me take you through a journey that all of you would have probably experienced.

Stage 1 : The Meet-Up


You would probably came across a girl that made your heart beat fast. It can be in a public places, through Tinder, somebody’s friend, or your Amma’s sister’s friend’s uncle’s neighbour’s daughter. It can be anybody la! As long it’s a female (or male?) that swept you off your feet! That moment you knew la, she’s/he’s the ONE la!


Stage 2 : The Chase


Heart kena “locked” already right? What’s the next stage? Must gatal-gatal know everything about her what! The moment you know her name that’s it la… You start asking who is she, what is she, where is she, what her Appa Amma’s occupation, what her Tata Patti’s name and so on. Must sibok to know everything about her la! Worse once you’ve got her Instagram or Facebook account… and the stalking begins!

Once that you know that she is single, alhamdullilah.

You start to command and conquer all your strategies and game plans. You start to impress her, take her out for fancy dinner, saying lame ass pick up lines, blood vomiting romantic statements, buying her gifts and each time you’ve spent with her…, butterflies in your stomach ☺️

Disclaimer : Every end of the month, you’ll cry whenever you see your credit card statement. You put your hand over your chest and tell yourself, “it’s worrrttth it!”


Stage 3 : The Honeymoon Period

“I LOVE YOU”… finally that 3 golden words have been expressed towards each other…


“OK, You hang up the phone..”

“No, you put first…”

“No busuk, YOU put first”


And it goes on… and on… and on… 🙄

And there you have it. You begin to study each other’s schedules, favourite meals, movies and so on and so forth – the list goes on. The compulsory ‘Good morning’ and ‘Good night’ messages. Updating each other about your day. You practically start planning how many kids you want, their names, where to have your honeymoon and the FUTURE TOGETHER. You will want to do EVERYTHING TOGETHER AS A COUPLE and express yourselves with each other. And, like every normal couple you would begin to head to…

Stage 4: The Comfortable Phase

“Where would you like to have dinner tonight?”

“ I don’t know, wherever.”

“What’s the plan tomorrow?”

“ I don’t know.., whatever baby.”

Now being at this stage isn’t necessary bad. It shows that you know each other very well and you’re comfortable being yourselves. You no longer need to hide whenever you want to fart, instead, you’ll trumpet it with pride and perhaps you have started picking your nose in front each other (eating it after picking, that I’ll leave it up to you all to decide).


Now at this stage, it can be bad or good. It depends on what you do with this comfort. Some use it positively to continue to grow with each other, or (mostly) allow the distance to take its place. And this is where for most of us, we start taking each other for GRANTED.


Stage 5 : The Tolerance

At this stage, you would have had many arguments or mini fights already. You would probably make up for it with a muchi muchi kiss or with something special. But how much can you tolerate? How much can you let go?


Gradually, your anger starts to build up within you, and you can no longer take bullshit because maybe, you too, had a bad day. Instead of getting crap, it’s your turn to vent.


The girl/guy that you used to be so crazy about is no longer your priority but instead you would probably compete with each other or, maybe, get revenge on each other.

Stage 6 : The Fall

At this stage, your relationship is neither bad nor great. It’s not a good way to describe a relationship. You probably don’t see the need for the “I love you” or the daily greetings because it’s no longer a priority. Arguments don’t get solved, you don’t feel the need to see each other often anymore and things just get from bad to worse. The effort to make things work at this stage could be just worthless and hopeless. You probably won’t know what you guys even argued about at one point in time!


What happens next……?

Stage 7 : The Break-Up

This stage may happen to everyone at some point. This is it, the end of the line. You won’t know what went wrong and how it happened but you both would have “The Talk”. You wish to end it on mutual terms, and this is where you both will start a new path.


You will start drunk calling and expressing that you miss your partner. Stalking each other’s profile to see if there’s a “newcomer”. Realising that the famous quote of “You’ll only know the value of something once its GONE” cuts deep.



Do me a favour. Don’t punish us writers to write lengthy stages in relationship articles. Cut the crap at stage 4, work it out to maintain a good relationship, and live happily EVER AFTER.


When you’re happy, we are happy. When we are happy, our readers will be happy. Terima kasih kerana membaca! Sekian wassalam

Hey, since you’re here, you might want to read this next:

Let Me Break Down The Stages Of A Relationship For You

What Being A Habitual Side-Piece Taught Me About Relationships

our relationship is you, me and my mental illness

10 Rom Com Cliches That I Think Need To Go

A Love Letter to My First Love

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Cover image courtesy of Pexels.

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