25 Sarcastic Comebacks For That Annoying Person In Our Lives

 

  1. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
  2. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?
  3. Please, keep talking. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated.
  4. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?
  5. If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. 

    Two-Face

  6. Some day you’ll go far—and I really hope you stay there.
  7. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
  8. I’m trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just can’t get my head that far up my ass.
  9. If you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, ‘cause it’s gonna be a really long time.
  10. I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. 

    article-new-thumbnail_ehow_images_a01_v7_ci_see-proctologist-800x800

  11. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
  12. Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.
  13. Can you die of constipation? I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are.
  14. Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
  15. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart. 

    images

  16. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
  17. You always bring me so much joy—as soon as you leave the room.
  18. I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
  19. I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you’ve already got one.
  20. Your family tree must be a cactus ‘cause you’re all a bunch of pricks. 

    mixed-display-of-cacti-and-succulents-1523884208

  21. I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
  22. I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.
  23. Cancel my subscriptions … I’m tired of your issues.
  24. You should really come with a warning label.
  25. You go girl! And don’t come back!

Related reads:
25 THINGS YOU SAY DURING SEX, THAT CAN BE USED DURING JOB INTERVIEWS


Have you got a story, experience, commentary or thoughts on anything in particular? Hit us up at our Write In page, or drop us a line at askanythinglah@gmail.com.

Cover photo courtesy of Pexels.

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About Anything Lah!

This blog began with a dream to bring people closer together – to write about their thoughts, opinions and experiences ranging from ghost stories to relationships and to life lessons! If you have a story to share, write to us at askanythinglah@gmail.com.