“Today has been one shit after another – I’m being pushed to a corner, what am I going to do next?”
“I can’t believe that my boss is rejecting my annual leave! Isn’t that a breach of labour rights or something?”
“I blew it – I completely lost my mind and couldn’t utter a single word I rehearsed. My speech was a total flop!”
It’s one of those days when things just don’t turn out in your best interest, and you feel like it’s always about you vs the world. Or perhaps, the universe is having a major laugh watching you flail about in misery in what seems to be your own life as an adaptation of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.
And at moments like those, you’d probably turn to your close friends or a special someone in hopes of getting a bit of a morale boost even though sometimes you know that there’s nothing they can do to make things right or feel better. You just need to vent and let go anyway. Sometimes, all you need is just a listening ear and coupled with the knowledge that you’re not completely alone.
BUT! Sometimes people say shit that’s really useless. I’m sorry, I appreciate you with all my heart, but damn you really needn’t say anything sometimes. Oh, you know, those moments when what they say actually makes it worse or makes you even more frustrated. You know the words. Any of these sound familiar?
1. Cheer up
Picture this: the train decided to break down so you were not only late to work, but were also sweaty AF and then when you arrived, your egg sandwich was already soggy from being kept in your bag for too long, and the best part was that you totally forgot to email your client the final artwork to be approved for printing which was due at 10am, but you were late because of the stupid train and in turn screwed everything up for you **inhales sharply** CHEER UP? YA OK. CAN. LET ME SWITCH TO CHEER UP MODE.
2. I totally get it
You’ve got legit only RM100 left for the month and payday’s not in about a week and a half left. You confide in your trust-fund best friend and she goes, “I totally get it.”
No you don’t.
3. Yeah, but I love you
“I had a rough day today, honey” you sighed as you sank into the comfort of your own bed, finally after a long day. Your girl looks at you, eyes full of stars as she said softly, “Yeah, but I love you, okay?”
SO WHAT WHITNEY???!?!?!?!?! HOW DOES THAT HELP??!??!
4. Drink more water, okay?
We all have that one friend who, whenever we run to them to confide in a particular health concern, would just tell us to drink more water. Because water totally cure labour pains. Not.
Nothing water can’t solve, eh? Step aside, docs.
5. Quit your job
Your boss had rejected your leave application because everyone else had applied for leave over Christmas too. At the mamak session later, you rant to your friends over such outrageous injustice and they were very helpful enough to advise, “Ish, just quit your job lah. Your boss is a jerk.” Guys, y’all help me pay my bills right?
6. So… how ah?
There’s always that friend who does a brilliant job at freaking you out even further. Imagine going to him or her about the greatest worries of your life and instead of acknowledging the severity of the situation or offer words of wisdom, they turn the table back to you and go, “So..how ah?”
7. Don’t worry
Screw up big time? Don’t worry. Worried about that clunking noise you car’s making? Don’t worry. Your cat puking out hairballs the size of a tennis ball? Don’t worry – all is well!
8. Forget about it
Even though you’ve pulled an all nighter finishing that report and your coworker totally stole your credit – forget about it! Why be angry when you can forget about it!
9. This is good for your portfolio/resume!
“I don’t think I can commit to this project, I am overwhelmed at the moment” you stare hopefully at your boss, praying silently that he would have a change of heart and see that you’re stretched thinner than a rubber band. But then he smiled warmly and said, “This is good for your resume!”
10. Just calm down, bro
10 out of 10 people do not calm down after being told to do so.
Nobody, on the verge of a Hulk-like rage, would calm down their bro ass selves when being told to calm down!
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Cover image courtesy of Pexels.