(R/18+) How to Blow Her Mind… With Gifts.

I love intrigue.

I love blowing people’s minds, dropping their jaws, sparking a huge smile on their face.

Naturally, I am particularly fond of doing these things to and for the women who are of romantic or sexual interest to me. I don’t use these energies very often for anyone else, save the few men in my inner circle who I consider important to me.


For the women in question though, few things make me happier than putting a smile on the face of a woman I care about; not just a general smile but the kind of pleasantly shocked reaction that usually happens when I surprise her with a tongue slipped up her ass. Other examples of the surprises I’ve pulled can be seen in my previous posts, (R/18+) The First Student I Slept With (Part 1) , (R/18+) The First Student I Slept With (Part 2) and (R/18+) My First Threesome.


Having said that, I am a firm believer that the intrigues and surprises outside of the bedroom are of equal importance. Blowing her mind outside of the bedroom goes hand in hand with all the neat little tricks you might try behind closed doors. While there are many ways to do that, for this post I’d like to share the lessons I’ve learned regarding the act of gifting.

Historically, my habit of gifting started early in my dating life when I had a bad habit of getting involved in long-distance relationships (these days I try to avoid those). When you’re in a situation where your significant other is quite a distance away from you, it takes a lot of creativity to keep the fire burning hot, and gifting is a method that I have leveraged to accomplish that.

The things that I’m talking about here aren’t ‘tips’ per se. Instead, I’d label them as ‘considerations’; things you might want to take into account the next time you are preparing to send someone a gift for their birthday, or just because you found something you know they’d like. It doesn’t matter if they’re on the other side of the planet or sit right next to you at work, the same ideas still apply.

1. Make It Personal

First and foremost, what you need to understand about gifting is that it’s meant to be personal. It is targeted and deliberate, and not necessarily expensive. Any man can walk into a store and purchase the shiniest, most expensive thing on the shelf; the whole point of gifting is to demonstrate that you’re not just ‘some guy’ in her life.

One of the most personal things that I’ve sent out to important women in my life are my hand-written letters. These are my favourite gifts to give, because for starters, only you and the recipient will be aware of the contents of that letter. On this planet of 8 billion people, only the two of you will know the thoughts and feelings shared on those pieces of paper.

Letters don’t have ‘sent’ folders, mind you. That means that on a long-enough timeline, you yourself as the author will not remember what you wrote about in those letters. At the risk of sounding a little cheesy, I kinda love the fact that the people who hold my letters are the only ones who know what I was thinking and feeling at the time; even I myself have zero recollection after all this time.

Aside: Once upon a time, I sat down and wrote a letter with a bottle of vodka next to me. After every page, I swallowed an entire shot. I was blackout drunk before I finished the letter, but Drunk Me finished it, signed it, and sealed it. So when I woke up the next day I had zero memory of what I wrote in it. Whatever the fuck Drunk Me wrote must’ve been brutally honest, because it left a positive impact on the person who received it.

But I digress. The point that I’m trying to make here is this: when it comes to gifts, it’s not about the pricetag. A ‘good’ gift is meant to be surgical, aimed at pulling heartstrings and eliciting an emotional response. It could be a diamond ring, it could be a high-end bullet vibrator, or it could just be a framed picture of the both of you together. One size does not fit all, so the item has to be something that’s of personal value to the recipient.

After all, if she’s the kind of person who only values the price tag and not the actual significance of the item, then I’d like to bring your attention to what Wilson Fisk once said,

“A woman that can be bought isn’t worth having.”

2. Hand-written notes and letters

As mentioned above, I believe in the value of handwritten letters and notes. For one thing, messages are always so digital these days, so handwritten notes of any kind have become more rare and are therefore more valuable and more appreciated.

In the event that your gift is a handwritten letter in itself, be sure to use slightly fancier, heavier paper. Conquerer paper is one particular brand I always use, and its readily available at pretty much any stationery store at a very cheap price. Granted, it won’t be as cheap as regular printing paper, but this is not the time to be too frugal.

Invest in slightly better envelopes as well. White, not brown.

Worried about your terrible handwriting? Good. While it looks nicer to have great cursive handwriting on paper, the fact that your writing has flaws adds to the letter’s authenticity and personalisation. Use a slightly thicker pen, perhaps a 0.7mm or 1.00mm to make it more presentable.

The same idea applies to gift cards that you attach with the actual gift item; small gift cards are just a few bucks each, so use them, always.

3. Packaging

In my humble opinion, one-third of the act of gifting is the item in itself, and two-thirds of it is in its presentation. By that, I’m referring to the item’s packaging, and how its delivered (which I’ll discuss in the next point).

Never underestimate the effect that packaging has on your gift.

Even if that gift is only a handwritten letter as mentioned above, what I would do is pack it in a nice envelope, but then go #inception and pack that envelope in another larger envelope for delivery; typically a yellow padded envelope.

Yellow, because it’ll be much more noticeable when it ends up on the recipient’s desk, or in their mailbox in a pile with other letters. The padded nature of the envelope is partially to keep the letter in good condition when its being delivered, but also to lend it more significance.

Think about it: things of value are always packed nicely. Such envelopes only cost a few bucks but of course, there’s no need to overdo any of the ideas that I’m sharing in this article.

If the gift is something that fits in a box, then get someone to box it properly for you. Some gift shops are able to provide everything from nice boxes to wrapping paper, styrofoam padding inside and even cute little bows you can attach to it, but if you can’t find such a place your best bet is to ask around at florists; some of them do gift-wrapping as well. Instead of using crumpled newspapers, buy packing peanuts from places like Mailboxes etc.

Keep it simple. Keep it elegant. Less is more, in my opinion, by everyone has their own style.

4. Method of Delivery

You’ve got the perfect gift, and you’ve got it all nicely wrapped in a neat little box.

Next comes delivery.

If you’re delivering this gift by hand, then I have no ideas to share for that; it’s pretty straightforward.

However, have you considered having it delivered for you instead? Even if the gift is meant for the person living with you, having it delivered makes it much more interesting, much more ceremonious for the both of you.

There are really only two main options: their home, or their office. You’ll have to exercise extra caution here, however, because if it’s planned wrongly the gift could backfire greatly. Two things you have to take into consideration are the nature of the gift (is it a safe item or something risque like sex toys and lingerie?) and the nature of your relationship (does this woman have a boyfriend and you’re the side-piece, or are you just some guy stuck in the friendzone who’s about to creep her out with your weird gift?). Be honest with yourself here.

I’m a big fan of sending flowers to her office. Flowers are a very big, very loud gift, and it’ll be noticed by everyone from where the delivery van parks to the office reception, and all her colleagues in the immediate vicinity. So on top of it being a very nice, heartwarming gift, it will also cause your recipient to blush extra hard from all the attention and squeals that she’ll receive from her colleagues witnessing the delivery.

If it’s any other gift, I prefer using courier services. It doesn’t have to be the high end ones, don’t forget that even the local, affordable options are just as good in most cases. There’s two reasons why you want to use a courier: so you can track it every step of the way, and for added ‘dramatic effect’. A gift sent by courier will NOT go unnoticed, especially since someone has to actually receive it and sign for it.

Sometimes when I send a gift to someone overseas, I deliberately use a high-end courier like DHL. DHL’s my favourite one because they can get anything to any corner of the planet within 3 days, and because when they show up they usually do so in a huge fucking yellow van. One recipient I sent stuff to lived in a bungalow house with housemates, and just as I predicted, all of her housemates had their attention piqued when they saw a huge-ass yellow van pull up to their gate, and a delivery man walk up to their door with a letter I wrote and despatched from the other side of the world.

And as a ‘syiok sendiri’ bonus, I get excited during the moment of truth when the status on the package’s tracking page has changed to ‘Delivered’. That means that in just a few moments, I’m about to get that first text/call when the recipient reacts to the thing that I sent them (a little longer, if its a letter; they gotta read it first, amirite?).

That’s the climax of the entire process for me, that’s what this is all about: that initial reaction. Never fails to put a smile on my face.

5. Bonus: Intrigue

Add a little intrigue to your gift. Assuming the woman actually is in some form of a romantic/sexual situation with you and you’re not just a friendzone tenant, sending the gift anonymously is a simple way to cause a little bit of intrigue.

Personally, I never use my full name. Let her work just a tiny little bit to figure out who its from, so use your initials instead, or use some sort of pseudonym that only she could connect the dots that lead to you.

Bottom line, all you are giving them is a gift. Yes. That is the heart of everything that I’ve mentioned here. The reason why I’m suggesting you consider all of these other things is because not only would you be giving them a gift, you’d be building an experience around that gift and tying emotions and memories to it.

Any man can pull an expensive gift off a shelf, but triggering the right kind of emotions and creating new memories for her means that you’re gaining just a little bit of real estate inside her mind.

You can’t buy that with money.


Thoughts? Questions? Hate mail?
Reach out to me on Twitter and Instagram at @oliver_sure (highly NSFW).

Do you have a story/opinion you’d like to share? Write to us at askanythinglah@gmail.com, or drop us a line in the Write In page. Cover image courtesy of Pexels.

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