Cringeworthy Malaysian F*ckboy Experiences, Vol. 1

Fuckboys aren’t new. The term probably is but essentially what makes up the characteristics of a fuckboy isn’t something us boys and girls have not come across. They’re not like jerks. Jerks are mean and treat you like crap from the get-go. Fuckboys treat you like your their world… and then continue to ghost you after. And just in case you’ve never come across a Malaysian fuckboy, we’re bringing you experiences from people who have to make it easier for you to identify/dodge a fuckboy before things get real messy.

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Gif: Tumblr

To our heroes who came forward with their stories, we thank you for your service. Y’all are the real MVPs.

The Married One:

“Okay so there was this guy I matched with on Tinder, but he was outstation for work (that’s what he told me at least). We were arranging to meet and he kept insisting that he comes over to mine right after touching down from wherever he was from and naturally I was like, “Don’t you need to drop off your bags and shower or whatever?” to which he replied “It’s okay lah I can shower at yours.” Then, he made me pick him up from KL Sentral and we went on our way to my place.

“So, we get back to mine, we smoke and chill and it was late so he asks if he can just crash and I was fine with that. He then proceeded to make a move on me, we do it and we go to bed. The very next day he tells me has a flight to Myanmar, but instead of asking me to drop him at KL Sentral (like a normal person) he asks me to drop him off at Sunway Giza, which doesn’t even make sense because there isn’t a bus or anything that takes you to the airport from there.

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Gif: Tumblr

“But thanks to Tinder I found out that he’s been in Sungai Buloh for like 5 days after we met (I’m pretty sure he lives there) so I asked him why he lied. He fell silent after and I stalked him on Facebook to find that he’s married with 2 kids.” – Sha

The Relentless (and kind of really delusional) One:

“I remember how this guy was so desperate that to this very day, he’s still bothering me (on and off) despite us not being in the same college together anymore.

“It all started when my friend told him about how I said he was handsome. The incident happened when we were both out to submit a short drama poster for a subject. Since I was the only one with a car, I had to drive this dude to the lecturer’s office as he had the poster. And after everything was done, I voluntarily drove him back to the dorm.

“On the way back, I felt his hand creeping onto my thigh. Startled, I politely pushed his hand away and said “No.” But that wasn’t enough to make him stop. So he went ahead to grab my hand that was on the gear. As I was driving a manual car, I told him I had to change gear and he said, “Hey it’s OK. Don’t be shy.” I kept my hand that he was holding a fist because I’m obviously angry that my privacy has been breached. It was all very awkward but IT DIDN’T END THERE.

“Throughout the 5 semesters, he kept telling everyone that I’m his girlfriend and that I like him very much. He would also post pictures of me and our friends, cropping them out so it’ll look like I’m sitting next to him.

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Gif: Giphy

“Weird? Yes, especially considering that we WEREN’T EVEN DATING. Creepy? Very.” – Pauline 

The KAAA (Kembar Acah-Acah Alim):

“That one time I thought the Universe was finally being fair for creating a pair of twins so good-looking so nobody would have to fight over them, I was sorely disappointed shortly after. I became acquainted with one of them through a friend who told me that he wanted to get to know me and obvs your girl was like “WELL HELLO THERE.” He’s a smooth talker, I’ll give him that. When we started talking he was like the most pious person ever – never missed a prayer time, always at the masjid, sharing all kinds of religious stuff with me, hell, we didn’t even meet during Ramadhan because “it’s not appropriate”. Sounds like the perfect dude to take home to your parents, right? WRONG.

“Soon after we started getting to know each other a little better, he’d always ALWAYS ask for selfies and then ask what I’m wearing which eventually led to him asking for nudes and stuff and that really put me off. One day (while he was praying, ah the irony), I had a tingling feeling to reach out for his phone (something I swore to myself I’d never do). And there it was. A plethora of nudes and videos of some girl who’s always hanging around his place who I’ve always assumed was his brother’s friend. Guess she was HIS friend too, huh? What’s evenn funnier was that he asked me to accompany him on a trip to Japan. Turns out I wasn’t the only one he asked! After I said no, he asked the girl who’s been sending him nudes to go with him, and she said yes (and called me a side bitch while she was at it).

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Gif: Popkey

“After that incident, we kinda just went our separate ways because, ew. But that didn’t stop his twin brother from trying his luck. I hit him with a “Um, I went out with your brother, remember?” and he pretended like he didn’t know this and said “Well I guess it’s no surprise that we have the same taste in girls as well.” GROSS MUCH?! Stay away from these boys, girls.” – Lia

To be continued.


Since you’re here, want to read more? Here are our suggestions:

What Being A Habitual Side-Piece Taught Me About Relationships

It’s A Match! (Or Not) #Tindering101

F*cked! Episode 1: STD, U & Me

F*cked! Episode 2: My Slave Almost Killed Me

In the meantime – if you do have the time, that is – care to subscribe to us so you won’t miss out on a post, ever? There’s a nice little black and yellow we’ve designed for you to slot your email in (either at the top left of the post, or at the bottom of said post).

Otherwise, if you have a story/opinion you’d like to share, write to us at askanythinglah@gmail.com, or drop us a line in the Write In page.

Cover image courtesy of Pexels.

 

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About nadardin

Writer by day, pseudo Disney Princess and an unrefined version of Julia Child by night. Loves martinis, cooking up a storm and Mario Puzo's The Godfather. Currently based in London, United Kingdom. Follow her on Instagram (@nadardin) or get in touch with her at n.badardin@gmail.com!