I’ve heard that more times than Trump has made questionable tweets.
Before anyone asks; yes, I happen to be a guy who like other guys in a romantic and touchy-feely way. I’m open about it, though I hardly get ambushed by that question till a later point in time having known me further.
‘But you don’t act like one.’
Well no shit, Sherlock.
When I first got to terms with my sexuality and started hearing that response, I would easily shrug it off. Heck, it felt like a compliment. But these days however, it felt more like an insult.
Media hasn’t done us much of a favour in representing the community either with the local media being the biggest offender by far. Just watch some of our local series and how they would characterise a homosexual guy. We’d usually be depicted as effeminate men; very fashionable, carrying a handbag, and to a certain degree, putting on makeup.
Do you know how stale that shit is, oh producers of local media?
Understanding that the general consensus would view us in such a stereotype, what I found to my chagrin was how my own community continues to enforce said stereotype.
‘You don’t seem gay enough.’
Hearing those words coming from the people of my community was perplexing. I understand that some of us are of the stereotype, but what irks me is that even my fellow gay men question me on my sexuality.
Why can’t a homosexual guy be anything other than a stereotype?
For all you know, that gay guy you constantly pester to go shopping with actually hates shopping. Or that they may actually like Aerosmith just as much as they serenade to the works of Lana Del Ray. Or that they aren’t as promiscuous as you’d thought them to be.
I’m unkempt. The only clutch I know happens to be an essential part of steering a vehicle. My favourite artist of all-time is tied between A7X and Linkin Park. I’ve never seen an episode of RuPaul Drag Race. I like long drives on open roads in the wee hours of the morning; windows down, music up. My casual voice is bass-baritone. But, I’m still mostly if not always been attracted to men.
So guys, gals, peeps, do us all a favour and don’t generalise. I know it’s a slow learning curve for the general consensus to get accustomed to the fact that a gay guy could just be like any average joe out there, but I hope that this piece would be a start.
This post was submitted and written by Kevin Ch’ng. He is on Instagram at kev_chng.