My mum once said, ‘In one’s lifetime, one will have at least 5 pets.’ She said it right after my beloved dog, Raven passed away, after suffering from bone cancer, Osteosarcoma. To others, she was fierce. To us; to me, she was way more opposite that fierce. To honour her, my four-legged warrior, here are a few words I wish I could say to her.
I want to spend more time with you
I already mentally made a reminder to myself, to spend more time with you, camping outside of the house with you for the whole night. But for the whole four months, I was buried with assignments and projects. Till’ I couldn’t even went out for awhile and pat your head. I forget about the reminder and let it slip off my mind. I guess it’s too late now, right?
I want to take you out for a walk
This is the promise I’ve made even longer than the first. I am sorry I couldn’t and can’t bring you out for a walk for the past 4 years. If only I’m strong enough to bring you out. But of course, you weren’t waiting for me to bring you out. You waited for our dad to bring you out. But days turn into months and months turn into years. When we meet again, I promise with all my heart, to take you for a walk, alright?
I want to thank you
I always say this to you but I will say it again, and again because you deserve it more than anything. I want to thank you for always protecting our house for 9 years. You loved us and our house so much that you bit off not one, but two cobras and chased away monkeys. No other dogs were brave enough to challenge a cobra.
I wish I can understand you better
I wish I can understand dog language so I can converse with you better. I want to learn your language so I can I know whether you are in pain or just want me to secretly feed you more snacks.
I wish I was by your side on your last day
I regretted till’ this day for not following you to the vet. Thinking it was just a sprain, it turns out to be a cancer. I didn’t even say goodbye to you. The last time I saw you was the night before. I saw how sick you were and comforted you by saying it’s just a sprain, you’ll be fine. I’m sorry, Raven.
I want to hug you once more
You visited me the other day, on my first day of internship, remember? I saw you so vividly in the dream, and hugged you tightly. As if you came to say goodbye to me.
I love you
I never said this to you but I’ll say it now. I love you, Raven. I love you with all my heart. You’ll forever be the most bravest, gentlest and kindest dog I’ve ever own. No other dog could ever replace you.
In honour of Raven.